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Saturday, February 7, 2009

You Playin' Right?!


I'd like to address a question that has been going back and forth across and among the sexes for going on decades (it seems like). A question that has a right obvious answer, but I have yet to hear somebody say it. Both sides are right for their answers... so why not put them together? JUST GET THE TO THE F'N QUESTION! you say?? well you got it...

"Is it the size of the ride, or the motion of the ocean?" For those who don't understand... Does size matter? YES Does movement matter? Definately. So there you go... an answer. Bottom line is you need both to have a fulfilling sexual experience. If you don't believe me ... I can try and break it down.

I understand better by examples so lets use a couple. Ok so you're with ur boyfriend, buddy, partner... whatever the case and y'all are doin ur thing and homeboy is really puttin in some work. You respect his effort but you just don't feel anything. So if bitty looks at you and is like "get off me...(disapproving look)" don't get mad. I understand your feelings, ego whatever... are hurt. But you must understand that you can move as much as you want, however you want... hell you can throw in a few circus moves just for kicks, but it means nothing if you're packing a french fry...get my drift?

Ok next example... you're with ur boo y'all goin at it and homeboy is packin (or something moderate) but... he ain't doin not a damn thing wit it ( waste of time...). So... he's lookin at you like "why aren't you moanin?" and you lookin at him like " Nigga why ain't you movin?!" yea... nothing's gettin done here. You both get up wholly unstatisfied and mad as hell. It's just not a good look.

But I will say this... It is much easier to teach a man how to move and pleasure you. All you need is some time and someone who is willing to take some helpful criticism. You can't teach someone to get a bigger package... You can buy stuff to pump it up or get surgery but... yea that's the extent of your help (genetics suck sometimes).

Last tidbit I'd like to bring up is the whole eating thing... If you happen to be one of those dudes who is lacking in some department... you must, MUST make up for it with eating. Ain't nothing worse...... than gettin wit a dude, and findin out he doesn't do that. ESPECIALLY if the pipe game ain't shit. Just to let you know... ur a waste...(fill that in wit whatever ). My guess is that you don't fully understand the perks of the activity. So i'll fill you in. Great view, can be taught if you suck, a turn on for you, and praise that you will never know about from the female community. Why be an ass and turn that down? Be smart... do the right thing.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

25 Reasons to Love Me...



SO... If you're a fellow facebooker like myself... then you kinda know what this post is all about. I've read a couple of other people's random facts and i thought to myself "hey, I want to do one to!" But, it took me awhile to finally get up the courage to make one, because I was really trynna think of things about me that are in fact.... random. Cuz I know I've look over some that weren't random facts at all... or it just wasn't interesting. Well... here's my chance to show my stuff... hope you enjoy!




1. The blue pack of Starburts bothers me because there are like two good flavors in it(Waste money much?).


2. I get jealous of people who have that Power Rangers ringtone (you know the alert?).


3. One time I had this dream where I dropped a bar of soap in the toilet and when I woke up, I told my mom what happened and she totally didn't believe me... and I got in trouble.


4. I think being a meterologist is an unfulfilling job.


5. If I were a boy, I'd' be a whore.


6. I feel grades are pointless, they prove nothing.


7. I make orgasmic sounds and my eyes roll back when I eat something really good.


8. I laugh at almost everything. Especially when people trip and stuff.


9. And when I laugh... it's pretty damn serious. My stomach is tight and I'm crying.


10. I've always wanted to get with a corny, goofy white boy, just to see the look on people's faces.


11. My friends and I went to Laser Quest and I ran full speed into a wall.


12. I believe if I wasn't such a nice person, then maybe my life wouldn't be so boring.


13. I don't like when I'm walkin down the street and random ass men tell me to smile (funny thing is I usually smile... as not to look like a complete ass).


14. I believe there is a such thing as a stupid question.


15. I don't like people but yet I want to be a psychologist.


16. I think Sandy is pointless on Spongebob Squarepants.


17. Mickey Mouse is my husband.


18. I abhor Minnie Mouse... she's not good enough for Mickey and I'll never understand why he got with her.


19. I believe that deep down every man wants to fuck a black woman.


20. My favorite pornstar is Jada Fire... she's AMAZING!


21. It bothers my when people try and cough all cute and quiet ( just cough dammit!)


22. # 18 is probably so retarded... but i'm so serious about it.


23. I don't like when unattractive people have crappy personalities.


24. When I'm by myself, I often have full on conversation with myself.


25. I wrote this list while in one of my classes...