#willgetyourejected

Once again I was listenin to the Russ Par morning show and of course, they had another interesting topic to discuss. They recieved an e-mail from this black guy who pretty much said that black women aren't with anyone, because they have too much attitude and they don't know their place. Once they discover how to shut their mouths and let a man take control, maybe they can get married.

To add insult to injury... this mf says that's why he prefers white women and hasn't dated a black woman in years. Oh and he doesn't plan on comin back (Thank God).

Lets take a moment to internalize this.................... you fumin yet? If so, great.

First off let me say that this man MUST have been hurt by a black woman in the past and he didn't cope with it too well. But, that doesn't excuse his bitchassness. People get screwed all the time homie... that's what life is all about. You live, learn and do better the next time.

So going back to the topic... black women have too much attitude and they need to know their place? Excuse me sir? #fail

I forgot to mention that in the email he said that black men can now do all the things that women can so they are going to have to show some outstanding qualities to set themselves apart from the crowd (where has he been?). #getalife

I don't even kno why he wasted his time in typing that sentence... he didn't say anything that everybody doesn't already know. Everyone knows a man can do what a woman can except have children... they just choose not to. #duh

Anyways, this being the head of the household bit is killin me. Two callers brought up really valid points saying, a relationship is a team and that men took the head of the household idea to the extreme. Well imma put those two together...

Men... chill out. Head of the household doesn't mean the woman loses her sense of autonomy. It just means that you are pretty much the final say in decisionmaking. And how do we come to terms? By compromise. Hence the term teamwork.

Then the topic turned to black women and attitude and how we constantly play into the stereotype. All I really have to say about that is, it's true. Black women do have a certain no b.s. aura about them and it comes off as attitude. So I think that black women need to really embrace the term, rather than be offended by it.

I think that our black men are very sensitive, confused and scared (this may also be true for other races). They say they want to be challenged and all this other stuff, but constantly display behavior opposite of what they say. For example pursuing white women.

In the back of a man's mind... he knows that if he steps to a put together woman (especially a black woman) he's gonna HAVE to come correct, make changes and face rejection. Pretty much things that make you do some self-interaction, which I think scares men (OMG ur being human).

But, until they realize that... this is the reality we have to live in #wackness.

#fail

So on the radio today, they were discussing this article they read in Newsweek. It was talkin about how 42% of black women aren't married compared to 21% of white women. They ventured on to say that maybe black women need to lower their standards and opened up the line for calls to hear other ppl's take on the issue.
Well I'm here to say, that's a crock of shit. Granted, if you have standards that are just doin the most... then maybe you should make them more reasonable. But, for the most part, I don't think a black woman should have to change her standards.
My parents told me, especially my mother, to never settle for less. If I'm used to a certain standard of living, why would I downgrade myself? Is it wrong for me to want good things for myself?
Then they brought up the tired ass excuse of you shouldn't immediately discount a person based on their credit score, job or education... and it's true, you shouldn't. But, I feel it's an indicator of some character traits that you might want to stay mindful of. It's the equivalent of meeting a man who has like 6 kids and 4 baby mommas. You can't immediately judge him and think that he's a bad person, but that level of irresponsiblity will always be in the back of your mind and may keep you from fully trusting him.
I think the part that really upsets me about the whole situation, is the fact that the onus falls on the black woman (like we don't already worry about enough shit). Why do WE have to lower OUR standards. Why can't men UP their STATUS? Essentially what they are sayin is that black men can continue to live this substandard livestyle and not change, while we have to subject ourselves to bullshit. It's not fair and I hate that...
I understand that black men have it the hardest, but that doesn't mean that they can't fight it. And on some real, most black women I know, their standards aren't even all that high. An educated black woman already knows that the chances of her finding a black man on her level is pretty slim to none... so from jump her standards are already lowered. How far down you expect her to go?
When I sit back and just look at this whole situation... all I can do is shake my head and laugh. It's so unbelieveable how sad it is. And I think the saddest part is that this situation is not going to get any better, it's probably going to get worse. We (black people) continue to reinforce black men's bullshit by justifying deficient behavior by saying "Oh, well you shouldn't judge him because he doesn't have a high school diploma or his credit is bad but, he's still a good person." That's #wack
Don't fall for that... it's a trap. Clearly, there's other problems that need to be worked out, but that's another blog.